Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Baby

Back so soon? Yes, of course, it’s time for two more hours of following your heart and not your mind, because that’s not good advice but people on this show seem to really dig it.

We’ve moved from Norway to Denmark. Two countries I could totally pick out on a map.

And we're back in. Poor Peter does not get the one-on-one date, despite his giving it up in the hot tub the week before. Kenny has a case of the “sads” probably also known as PTSLee. But forget those guys because it’s time for Eric to have his first one-on-one. A date I like to call “And That Is How You Pivot”.

I suddenly love Eric, guys. I love his whole vibe. I love his cute made-up song when Rachel arrived in a boat to meet him. I love his dancing. I love his making fun of Rachel’s one fact about Copenhagen.

Eric and Rachel explore Copenhagen, and naturally, they go in a hot tub. (2 hot tub episodes in a row, y'all!) Sidenote: Rachel’s hot tub outfit/accessories were so cute. That bandana! The hoops!

The evening portion of the date brings out Eric’s Sad Story which wasn’t exotic (see: eating of lipstick, dead fiancés, etc. etc.) but it was gut-wrenchingly sad. Eric tells Rachel that his own mother never showed him love growing up, so everything he is allowing himself to experience with Rachel is new and exciting and scary for him.

Can we get an amen to people on this show being more self-aware this season? I have a sneaking suspicion that Eric’s been to therapy, too. And Kenny. Or maybe some people learn hard truths about themselves without professional help, but whatever. I dig it. I also feel like regardless of what happens with Rachel and Eric’s relationship that her connection to him, (and with the other guys) is starting to take on a Mr. Holland’s Opus feel. Wherein, the guys are changed by Rachel for the better, even if they don’t see her after high-school. (I mean, after the show stops filming.)

Ok, and we’re off to yet another physical challenge group date, this time while playing Viking (apparently pronounced Why-king?) games. Kenny and Adam face off and both get their faces beat. (Not in the cute Drag Race way.) Glad we can finally stop seeing Kenny’s bloody eye in all the previews now.

At the evening portion of the date Rachel has one on one time with a lot of the guys and it appears as though she’s becoming a bit insatiable for physical and emotional validation. She asks one of the guys (I don't remember who) “can you kiss me?” and then later asks another guy in a whispered voice so sad it made me feel feelings in my heart, “do you think your family would accept me?” Oh, girl. Rachel.

It makes me really sad that she felt compelled to ask that question. Any family would be lucky to have her. And if they didn’t accept her, then BOY, BYE!

So what’s going on here? This show makes everybody a little crazy. It’s not a great look. Rachel has acknowledged that her love language is physical touch, but it kinda seems like if she’s not locked in a full-face make-out within the first 5 seconds she worries that the guys don’t like her. She keeps stressing heart first, mind later. But your heart isn't in your bathing suit area. All I’m saying is, Rachel don't pick Bad Hombré!

Sorry, back to the episode..

Eventually Rachel and Kenny get to catch up and they mutually decide it’s better for Kenny to go home and be with his daughter. I think Rachel and Kenny had no chemistry. On either side. After all, chemistry is, despite this show’s construct, a two way street. So Kenny said goodbye. I just wish they could have come to that conclusion earlier and spared Kenny the never ending bullshi* parade that was Hilly Billy HatefuLee.

Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for- Rachel and Will’s one-on-one date! It’s Will’s time to shine! Will is handsome, smart, kind, and funny. And he came out of the limo as Urquel! And he’s good at random Norwegian sports! What more could you ask for??

We all know what happened. I think? Will wasn’t all over Rachel on their date. He seemed like a normal person on a first date with someone. I don't know, just respectful of their personal space? That zoom out on the castle/bridge thing they were standing on was amazing, though. YIKES. I agree with Rachel, it was a missed opportunity for sure. But isn’t it kind of stupid that she can’t initiate anything? Why couldn’t she have grabbed his hand or something? Is that not how this works? Rachel is a powerful woman in her professional life. And I think I understand her desire to be desired by the men she’s seeing. I just worry that this is all tipping too far in the wrong direction. You’re looking for a husband not a golden retriever. Plus, she already has Copper. Btw, how is Copper? Where is Copper?

Ok, evening portion comes along and Will is clearly on the chopping block. When he mentions that he’s mostly dated white girls you can see Rachel’s mind racing. It looked like she took that as confirmation that Will wasn’t attracted to her. I don’t know if that’s true or not. It just seemed like a mistake to send him home. Some people are a little slower to connect in that way. Or less forward physically. Some people are the scrambled eggs recipe of love. Slow and low, y’all. After all, even if she wasn’t totally sure about Will, she could have kept him and gotten rid of other less interesting people still remaining on the show. (Cough, Adam, cough.)

Ok, Will is gone. We didn’t deserve Will anyway. This is why we’re not allowed to have nice things.

Rose ceremony. In my notes I start to write that Adam leaves. And yet—- ADAM STAYS! And Matt. Who is Matt?? We say goodbye to Alex. Rachel seems really upset about it. Doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But maybe she has a thing for Russian guys in ridiculous pants who write poems and talk about specific eyeball-contact.

To each their own, I guess. I'm tired of writing about this show. It's like I don't have the Will to keep on writing or something......

Important words for me, and Rachel to remember as we make our way through the season...