Once upon a time, I emailed a recap of each episode of The Bachelor to my 7-person Fantasy League. A recap they never asked for, but grew to love. Now, I send those same 7 people (jk it's now *11* people because THE SHOW'S APPEAL IS UNIVERSAL, Y'ALL) a link to *this* website. Understandably, it's been an exciting, turbulent time for them-- and for me.  

I'm pleased to invite you, person of the internet, to join us as we celebrate the 3000th season of The Bachelor franchise. Buckle up, everyone-- it's bound to a be thrilling, awkward, and unprecedented season. And while it will be surprising, it will also be entirely predictable- as the show has been using a fine-tuned algorithm since 2002. And like most things made famous in 2002- Kelly Clarkson, Claritin, The Bourne movies, my Sweet 16 at the local Hibachi Restaurant-- I'm never letting go.  

March 11, 2018

If you guys think I’m gonna recap all 5 ghoulish hours of emotionally reckless, manipulative, sadomasochistic treachery we were subjected to this week-

 -you’re right.

Except it’s gonna be real short. Because I think this show has finally broken me. At least until May 28...

March 2, 2018

Sunday night’s Women Tell All left us wondering if we could pull off wearing Baby Beka sized-earrings (answer: NO) and ALSO what Caroline was referring to when she powerfully and mysteriously told Arie, “I know what you did….” Well, after Monday's episode I think we kn...

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