Once upon a time, I emailed a recap of each episode of The Bachelor to my 7-person Fantasy League. A recap they never asked for, but grew to love. Now, I send those same 7 people (jk it's now *11* people because THE SHOW'S APPEAL IS UNIVERSAL, Y'ALL) a link to *this* website. Understandably, it's been an exciting, turbulent time for them-- and for me.  

I'm pleased to invite you, person of the internet, to join us as we celebrate the 3000th season of The Bachelor franchise. Buckle up, everyone-- it's bound to a be thrilling, awkward, and unprecedented season. And while it will be surprising, it will also be entirely predictable- as the show has been using a fine-tuned algorithm since 2002. And like most things made famous in 2002- Kelly Clarkson, Claritin, The Bourne movies, my Sweet 16 at the local Hibachi Restaurant-- I'm never letting go.  

January 25, 2018

We may have travelled to SOUTH Lake Tahoe on Episode 4 of The Bachelor this week, but the real place we all journeyed to—willingly or not— was inside the fractured chaotic carnival show that is Krystal’s mind. Welcome everyone to the closed down circus, to the rollerco...

January 20, 2018

“Today is gonna be fun because it’s going to be uncomfortable for all of us.” - Arie Lyeyeyeyndk Jr discussing his first group date of Episode 3, and unknowingly, the entire season of the Bachelor starring Arie Lyeyeyeyndk Jr.

We begin episode 3 with a clip of Bibiana d...

January 14, 2018

Welcome back, everyone. Let me start by apologizing for the tardiness of this post. You know when people say that if you really love something you can always make time for it? Well those people are wrong, because I really love the Bachelor, (see, this blog), but I was...

January 4, 2018

Start your engines folks, because away we go.

Welcome to this season of The Bachelor starring the new (old) Bachelor Arie Lyuyuyuyunkdkdkd Jr., former race car driver and current real estate broker. But don't be confused, dear viewers, by the plethora of racing referenc...

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