Once upon a time, I emailed a recap of each episode of The Bachelor to my 7-person Fantasy League. A recap they never asked for, but grew to love. Now, I send those same 7 people (jk it's now *11* people because THE SHOW'S APPEAL IS UNIVERSAL, Y'ALL) a link to *this* website. Understandably, it's been an exciting, turbulent time for them-- and for me.  

I'm pleased to invite you, person of the internet, to join us as we celebrate the 3000th season of The Bachelor franchise. Buckle up, everyone-- it's bound to a be thrilling, awkward, and unprecedented season. And while it will be surprising, it will also be entirely predictable- as the show has been using a fine-tuned algorithm since 2002. And like most things made famous in 2002- Kelly Clarkson, Claritin, The Bourne movies, my Sweet 16 at the local Hibachi Restaurant-- I'm never letting go.  

August 10, 2017

Well… Rachel picked Bryan. We sat through 3 hours of excruciating TV. The finale has done something to me that I never thought this show could do - render me speechless. I don’t have much to say, really. They broke me. Chris Harrison, Rachel, Peyore, and Bryan- you did...

August 3, 2017

The “Men Tell All” episode. Here we are folks. The penultimate episode is upon us. This part of the season feels like the “finish your dinner before you have dessert” portion. Fine! Let’s do this.

Chris Harrison welcomes everyone and makes a joke about how there was so...

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